I fell asleep last night listening to Keaton Henson’s The Pugilist. Laying in bed a little past four am in a daze, dreaming of a past self and how I can rekindle those same loves I once had, or how, in contrast, I could grow into the kind of woman I’ve imagined myself to be once. How I could connect the two in ways. Growth is such a funny thing as you get older, and I’ve come to realise this last year I’ve been so slow moving. Awkward stages where i've barely thought of myself, and let life pass through me, as it does. Not as mindfully as I had hoped. Not as forgiving.
I hope the next few months bring me a lot of peace and wonder and clarity. I think i’ll be going back to art school in the winter (which excites me beyond words ! I literally spend some nights unable to sleep because of potentially being able to wake up knowing i’ll have drawing classes in the morning, or painting in the afternoon, and being surrounded by creative spirits, standing in a studio… nothing, nothing makes me happier than that). I wish nothing but movement for myself in the next few months.
I’ve been painting a lot these last few weeks, putting together a portfolio for entry into the school. I was there a few years ago but it wasn’t the right time for me. I was too young, lacking any form of vision for myself, easily moulded by my surroundings and others ideas which I think is the worst situation you can be in whilst in such an environment that really fosters individuality. The last few years i’ve learnt, albeit slowly, to stand my own. Cultivate a semblance of a vision, or ideas, that I stand by and this way of thinking and letting that grow from here, and I think going back to art school now will be more worthwhile this time around. I’ve put my creativity on the side line for the last few years to work on my mental health, and i’m so happy to say that i’m finally in a stage where I can focus primarily on just making.
I hope the next few months bring me a lot of peace and wonder and clarity. I think i’ll be going back to art school in the winter (which excites me beyond words ! I literally spend some nights unable to sleep because of potentially being able to wake up knowing i’ll have drawing classes in the morning, or painting in the afternoon, and being surrounded by creative spirits, standing in a studio… nothing, nothing makes me happier than that). I wish nothing but movement for myself in the next few months.
I’ve been painting a lot these last few weeks, putting together a portfolio for entry into the school. I was there a few years ago but it wasn’t the right time for me. I was too young, lacking any form of vision for myself, easily moulded by my surroundings and others ideas which I think is the worst situation you can be in whilst in such an environment that really fosters individuality. The last few years i’ve learnt, albeit slowly, to stand my own. Cultivate a semblance of a vision, or ideas, that I stand by and this way of thinking and letting that grow from here, and I think going back to art school now will be more worthwhile this time around. I’ve put my creativity on the side line for the last few years to work on my mental health, and i’m so happy to say that i’m finally in a stage where I can focus primarily on just making.
